Reid's Twelve
by Zabe Rogue
Summary: Three years after the events of REID'S ELVEN, Ian Doyle has found Spencer Reid and his gang. He has given them two weeks to pay back his money with interest. Now Reid has to use his genius mind to come up with a brilliant heist. Easier said than done. AU/Crossover Parody to "Ocean's Twelve" Read "Reid's Eleven" first.
1. Prologue: Bulgari

**Reid's Twelve**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Prologue: Bulgari<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Daniel Ocean: Spencer Reid (CM)<em>**

**_ Rusty: Gatsby Algérnon (OC)_**

**_ Frank: Derek Morgan (CM)_**

**_ Ruben: David Rossi (CM)_**

**_ Virgil and Turk: Shawn Spencer (Psych) and Elliot Spencer (Leverage)_**

**_ Basher: Aaron Hotchner (CM) and Ziva David (NCIS)_**

**_ Livingston: Penelope Garcia (CM)_**

**_ Yen: Parker (Leverage)_**

**_ Saul: Jason Gideon (CM)_**

**_ Linus: Ashley Seaver (CM)_**

**_ Terry Benedict: Ian Doyle (CM)_**

**_ Tess: Emily Prentiss (CM)_**

**_ Isabel Lahiri: Remy Laurent (OC)_**

**_ Roman Nagel: Abby Scuito (NCIS)_**

**_ Night Fox: Sophie Devereaux (Leverage)_**

**_ Matsue: Richard Castle (Castle)_**

**_ Agent Molly Starr: Carlton Lassiter (Psych)_**

**_ Gasper LeMarc: Anjali Chantal (OC)_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>AMSTERDAM, GERMANY-3 ½ YEARS AGO.<em>**

* * *

><p>Gatsby Algérnon was exhausted from her day job. Not to mention that it was raining as she reached the apartment. As soon as she enters her apartment and placed her stuff down, she sees her boyfriend sleeping on the double bed.<p>

"Hey Remy."

"Hey, CeCe. How's your day?" asked Remy.

"Horrible. Just got a rare Egyptian vase. Could've made a sale a year ago. Now they just want to look at the pictures. You?"

"I had a great day. We've made a major breakthrough in the Bulgari Case."

"Really?" Gatsby sits on a chair, removing her shoes.

"Yeah. We've found a shoe print. All-stars, Special Edition 2007. It's sole has a unique flower print in the middle."

Gatsby picks up her shoe and looks at it. It's exactly as Remy described. She quickly hides her shoe under the couch.

"That's great. Anything else?" said Gatsby as she entered the bathroom and sat on the toilet bowl.

"We've also found a strand of hair. It's at the lab for DNA analysis. From that we will be able to find out what type of shampoo or conditioner it is and if he or she dyes his or her hair."

Gatsby looks at her bottles of shampoo, conditioner and red hair dye. It's official. She's going to get caught if she stays any longer.

"Having those extra men really paid off," said Remy.

"Oh, you're just being modest," said Gatsby, looking at the open window behind her.

"Aren't you coming to bed, Baby?" asked Remy.

Gatsby turns the shower tap on. "I'll take a quick shower first. Don't let me keep you up." Gatsby closed the bathroom door and then climbs up out of the open window behind the toilet, giving a loud "Hooooeeeeee!" before safely landing inside a dumpster below.

**_A/N: Here is the sequel to REID'S ELEVEN. Please read that story before reading this one. I hope you enjoy it!_**


	2. 1: Rule Number One Broken

**1: "Rule Number One" Broken**

* * *

><p><strong><em>EAST HAVEN, CONNETITCUT- 3 ½ WEEKS AGO.<em>**

* * *

><p>Dr. Spencer Reid, the leader of the eleven professionals, enters the East Haven City Bank.<p>

"Good Morning."

"Morning, and you are?"

"Miguel Diaz. I'm here to open a SEP retirement account," said Spencer, handling the forms to the banker.

"Ok, Mr. Diaz." The banker looks at the forms. "Oh, it says here that you're already retired."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"What was your previous job?"

"I was a high school basketball coach."

"Well, it seems that you've done quite well for yourself."

"Yes, I have."

Spencer looks around, then looks at the banker.

"Excuse me, what's your name?" He asked.

"It's Ron." Answered the banker.

"Ron, do you have safe deposit boxes here?"

"Yes we do, Mr. Diaz," said Ron. "In our vaults."

"Your vault?"

"Yes. The vault we have is about a hundred years old. Of course we've added in state of the art upgrades since then."

"Did you know that I was once in a vault while it was being robbed?"

"Well…I'd say that it must've been quite an experience."

Spencer had a small smile. "Yeah, it was quite an experience."

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p>At the Reid household, painter was mixing paint for Emily Prentiss-Reid.<p>

"Too much green in that," said Emily.

"Sorry. So, what do you guys do?" asked the painter.

Emily looked at the man. "Us? My husband and I? Well, my husband has just retired, which is great. And I did work at an art gallery. Obviously, I love art and paint…that's too much blue in that. Can I…?"

"It's your paint."

"Thanks."

Emily mixes the paint.

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p>Spencer walks down the street carrying a bouquet of flowers a sees a jewelry store. "Maybe I should get something for Emily." He thought.<p>

Spencer enters the store and looks around.

"May I show you something specific?" asked the clerk.

"I'm here to get something for my wife."

"Is it a special occasion?"

"It's our second third anniversary." Spencer's phone rings and he answers it. "Excuse me. Hello, Mrs. Diaz. We were just talking about you."

_Emily(on phone): How did it go at the bank?_

_ "_It was easy…" Spencer realized his mistake. "Great. I mean great."

"No, you mean easy," corrected Emily.

_ Spencer(on phone): What?_

"Spence, you're doing recon work on our anniversary?"

Spencer had a sweat drop behind his head. "Em."

_Emily: What are you doing now?_

"Casing a jewelry store."

Emily slams her palm on the table. "Well, what a great way to ease back into society, which was your idea if I may add."

_Spencer (on phone): Emily, let me speak with you about something important. I can't find a restaurant tonight._

"Then we'll eat in."

_Spencer: Great, I'll cook._

"No, I'll cook. You talk."

_Spencer: You want me to talk? Words and everything? You know that's what they make flowers for._

Emily was laughing when she hears a car stopping right outside her house. She looks at a window and sees a familiar man exiting his car. "Oh, no, Spencer."

_ Spencer: What is it? Emily? What's wrong?_

"Um…the gas is leaking and the plumbing's busted."

_Spencer: HANG UP!_

Emily hangs up.

Spencer runs out of the jewelry store, dropping the flowers and quickly runs off to the train station.

Ian Doyle and his two henchmen, Liam and Seamus, were right at the front door. Emily opens it.

"Hello, Emily," said Ian as he enters the house, smoking a cigar. "Where is he? Where's Mr. Diaz?"

Spencer catches a cab to take him to the East Haven Train Station.

"I want it back, Emily." Ian said. "I want it _all _back."

Emily crosses her arms. "You got it back from the insurance company."

"I want my money back. What your husband and his 10 friends stole from me, with interest. A hundred and sixty million dollars over three years."

Spencer sits on a seat on the train towards a destination that Spencer prepared in the event that Doyle finds them.

"He's got two weeks," said Ian.

Emily gave a smirk. "You'll never find them. They're way too smart for you."

"Right…well," whispered Ian. "As it turns out, I'm not the only person who is trying to find Reid's Eleven."

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA<em>**

* * *

><p>Shawn Spencer and his fiancée were at a restaurant and the guests were made up of friends and family. Shawn taps a glass with a knife.<p>

"Everyone. I know that I'm not supposed to say anything or make a speech. But now I don't care about the rules. I really want to thank my family and friends. Mom, my dad and my stepmom. My Uncle Tyler and Aunt Zoe. My cousins: JP, Tommy, Barry, Neena, Patrick, Laura, Solomon, Terrell, Rita, Henry, Jeri, Garrett, Riley, Terry and not to mention Matt's band, the Teenage Wolves. And everyone else who has helped welcome Juliet to the family. Thank you."

In the corner, Eliot Spencer was disappointed that he wasn't mentioned. So he taps his glass with his fork. "I would also like…"

But before Eliot did, a cane appeared and stopped Eliot from tapping the glass. "Get up," said the owner of the cane. "Get up," Eliot mumbled as he got up.

"Walk."

"Walk," mumbled Eliot.

"I would also like to say a few words about commitment…about honor…about responsibility. About a special someone admitting to her…get up," said Ian, pushing Eliot to Shawn who was also forced to get up. "About admitting to her that her wedding and her special honeymoon to Disneyland…will have to be postponed."

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA<em>**

* * *

><p>At a nice house in L.A.<p>

"The photographer? She's just a friend. You met her at Kaylin's party, remember?"

"I don't care if I met some skank! What I care about is why you're flying first class when you can fly coach."

"Of course I have to fly first class. You don't expect me to embarrass myself by flying commercial."

"Baby, you need to understand. I'm on a budget right now so…"

"A budget? On a budget? Excuse me, but can you tell me who is the only woman who couldn't get in on the French Canadian black market. With you and your 'connections'?"

"I don't have to listen to this! You're not going anywhere near that picture-taking slut and that's final!"

"You know she seems really nice. It's really hard to make friends like her. You always do this whenever I meet someone new. You know what? It's getting really boring."

Kyle walks up the stairs leaving Parker alone downstairs. Parker sighs as she sits at the minibar.

"Guys on trips are always overexposed with photographers," a familiar voice said.

Parker looks up and sees Ian Doyle.

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>ATLANTA, GEORGIA<em>**

* * *

><p>"Did you actually think that it's an accident that no one knows about my man, Fred Bud Kelly? Of course it ain't no accident and you lovely ladies know why. I'm going to break it down to you like a fraction."<p>

Doyle and his goons entered a nail salon owned by Derek Morgan called "D's Nail Salon." Derek was getting a manicure.

"It's conspiracy, collusion, complicity. That's all it is. Fred Bud Kelly was a professional hockey player in Canada. The best. He could shoot the puck in a goal in less the 60 seconds."

Doyle's goons motioned the girls to leave as they replaced the them.

"And you never see his name on a Stanley Cup or the NHL in general. You know why? It's because that son of a bitch Jim Crow removed Fred Bud Kelly's name from all records when…hey aren't you girls kinda…"Derek looks up and sees Doyle.

"Every time I see you, Derek, you're playing the race card," Ian said. "Now, why is that?"

"You can let go of my feet now," said Derek.

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>LONDON, ENGLAND<em>**

Aaron Hotchner, Ziva David-Hotchner and their assistant, Jonny Blaze, were in a recording studio listening to an entire song full of censoring bleeps.

"This don't bother you?" Hotch asked.

"Of course it **(beeping) **bothers me." Jonny said. "What the **(beep) **you want me to do?"

"Well, it's **(beeped) **up!" Ziva exclaimed. "You can't hear none of the lyrics. You can't even get the beat with all of them **(beeping) **bleeps in it."

"If you want to put a **(beeping) **single on the **(beeping) **radio, that's what you're gonna have to **(beeping) **do!" explained Jonny as he switched off the censored song.

"Well, that's just **(beeping) (beeped)," **said Hotch.

**(beeping) **right. It's **(beeping) (beeped)!" **

Then Hotch, Ziva and Jonny heard a piano being played.

"What the **(beep) **is that?" Ziva asked.

"It's coming from sound room 2." Jonny pressed a button and they hear a piano being played. Hotch and Ziva see the pianist in the room as soon as the lights were switched on.

"Oh, **(BEEP)**!" cursed Hotch and Ziva.

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>CHICAGO, ILLINOIS<em>**

* * *

><p>Ashley Seaver was sitting in Ian Doyle's car with Ian reading the newspaper.<p>

"You haven't contacted my sister about this?" Ashley asked. "Because I don't think I should involve her in any of it…or my brother-in-law."

"It's all on you, Ashley." Said Doyle.

"Good. Thank you, Doyle. You see I have a whole network of…

"Get out of my car."

"Thank you." Ashley gets out of the car.

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>HAMPTONS, NEW YORK<em>**

* * *

><p>"Mr. Gideon, there seems to be a problem with your credit card."<p>

Jason Gideon was at the Hamptons Country Club with some friends. Jason sees that his credit card has been cut up.

"How about this one?" Jason said, taking out another business card.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gideon, but your business manager said that you would understand."

"Todd said that I would understand?" asked Jason.

"No, Mr. Doyle."

"Oh…Doyle. Dear old Mr. Doyle. Tell Mr. Doyle that he has won this round." Jason told the waiter. "Ian Doyle. An old practical joker."

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE<em>**

* * *

><p>Penelope Garcia was doing stand up comedy at a club.<p>

"This one time I was in at Best Buy and someone sold me a piece of crap laptop. When I looked at it, I grabbed the Blue Shirt guy, looked into her fiery eyes and said…."

Suddenly, Penelope became nervous.

"Mom…mother…"

After the show, Penelope was at a bar, sighing. "Thanks for letting me finish."

Doyle smiled. "What can I say? You're a real funny lass."

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>LAS VEGAS, NEVADA<em>**

* * *

><p>David Rossi is at a palm reader place named <em>Esmeralda's. <em>

"I'm worried about my friend, Gatsby. I mean, she recommended me to you since she's been so busy but I was hoping that you could send her a message telling her not to beat her brains out in her hotel business?"

"Will you please shut up? I read _your _palm, not hers." Esmeralda angrily said.

"Somebody like you could do well. How's my health? I just had a bad cough."

Rossi's interruptions were annoying Esmeralda. "Please!"

Doyle and his goons entered the shop and stood behind Rossi. Unfortunately, for Rossi, he sees Doyle. Rossi looks at his palm reader.

"This? You couldn't see this!?"

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA<em>**

* * *

><p>Gatsby Algérnon and her assistant, Faye, walked to a hotel room door reading , "Do Not Disturb."<p>

"It was the second call. I tried knocking several times but she wouldn't answer," said Faye.

"Don't worry. I know her." Gatsby knocks on the door.

"God, are you people retarded?!" yelled a voice from the room. "It says '_do not disturb'!" _

_ "_It's me."

Miley Cyrus unlocks the door. "Oh, hey, g."

Gatsby enters the room. It was completely trashed. "Jesus, Miley. You didn't have to go all Amanda Bynes on me."

"I know this is your place, Gatsby, but it's Liam. I love him, girl. I love him but he is driving me crazy with all of this marriage shit! I can't work! I can't sleep! I can barely perform anymore and I signed on to do another Nicolas Sparks movie. It's almost as if this Kabbalah crap doesn't even work!"

Miley rips off her bracelet as Faye receives a phone call and Gatsby looks at the damage.

"Gatsby, phone call for you."

Gatsby takes the phone. "Hello?"

_Doyle(on phone): I have a message for Cecilia Gatsby Algérnon, soon to be ex-owner of the Suncrest Hotel._

Gatsby quickly leaves the hotel room and walks out through the stairs. "You got her."

_Doyle: Last time we spoke, you hung up on me._

"Well, you said some nasty things to me last time. I've got sensitive ears."

_Doyle: Well, I'd admit that I was a little emotional that night._

"You think about that night a lot, don't ya? I'm surprised you called before I heard the sound that killed me." Gatsby said as she reached the parking lot.

_Doyle: I've been asked to show some restraint; otherwise, you would've gone out one day, get into one favorite car out of the 17 you own, turn on the ignition and then…"_

Gatsby's car exploded.

_Doyle: You got two weeks._

Gatsby watched as her car was burning. "Heh."

* * *

><p>.<p>

**R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12**

* * *

><p><strong><em>FIRST THURSDAY, THIRTEEN DAYS LEFT<em>**

* * *

><p>At the Severide and Stabler Body Shop, the group of eleven are in a meeting, some standing up, some sitting down on chairs, others on broken cars and tables.<p>

"Now you told me that your wife said that he called it Reid's Eleven. Who decided that?" argued Derek. "I'm a private contractor."

"It was a collaboration," said Penelope. "That moniker is just insulting."

"Yeah, I mean it was just the one job we did together," said Eliot. "I don't know where this proprietary stance comes from but I think it's a little bit possessive."

"But one can make the argument that it _was _Spencer's idea…" said Ashley.

Hotch interrupts Ashley. "Hang on a minute. Each of us had our own areas of expertise. Without us, Spencer couldn't get the job done. It doesn't leave your end , man.

"It just hurts," said Shawn. "It just hurts. We all agreed to call it the 'Doyle job' at the time. And then suddenly, you wanted to call it something else entirely…"

"Wait, if you all have a problem, who do you go to first?" asked Ashley.

"Gatsby," replied the others.

"Thanks, Ashley. Now let's get back on topic," said Spencer. "Based on what we stole, plus interests, how much does everyone owe Doyle?"

17.34 million dollars," answered Rossi. "Assuming that Doyle gives us prime plus one, which I doubt. Figure 19 to be safe."

"Ok. 19 each. Anybody got that?" asked Spencer.

Only Rossi raised his hand. "What? You think the stock market is some great mystery beyond the realm of human understanding. Didn't you see the signs? I saw the signs."

"Alright," said Spencer. "How much is everyone short?" Eliot, How much you short?

"Well, with interest I'm short 14."

Shawn was surprised. "You spent all but 5 million?"

"Don't start, Shawn," Eliot looked at his twin brother. "Yeah, I did. You think it's easy to start a business from scratch?"

Shawn shrugs. "Well, with interest I'm short 7."

"8," said Derek.

"I mostly spent a million on talent development, so with interest, that makes it 7," said Ashley. "Boy, the interest just kills you."

"Hotch and I are both light 9," said Ziva.

"What's the interest?" asked Penelope.

"About 6," replied Rossi.

"Then I owe 6," said Penelope.

Everyone was surprised at how much Penelope owes.

"What?" Eliot said.

"Seriously?" Ashley said.

"How?" Spencer asked.

Penelope looked around. "I stayed at Kevin Lynch's place."

Gatsby smiled. "I owe 25."

Everyone looked at Gatsby like she was crazy. The new redhead still smiled. "Hotels, man."

Spencer looks at Gideon. "Jason?"

Gideon gets up. "I haven't spent it all. But I will. Looks like I'm out. As ranking old-timer, I just can't handle it. And I think I earned the right to be selfish. You guys were great. I can say that you were all aces in my book," said Jason as he walks to Spencer. "But I want the last check that I write to bounce."

Jason eats a peppermint and walks out of the body shop.

"Jason? Are you trying to be funny? Jason!" Hotch called out as Jason walks out.

"Tragic," Parker mumbles as she shakes her head.

"I can handle Gideon's share," said Rossi.

"You don't have to," said Spencer.

"Who else can I talk to if you're all dead?"

Spencer thought about it. "Good point. Alright, I owe 10. Parker?"

"13. I have to maintain my big-ass house," said Parker.

"Yeah, but it's a nice place." Gatsby said.

Spencer tries to calculate the numbers. "So that comes down to…"

"97 million, give or take," finished Rossi.

"He didn't find us on his own. Somebody helped Doyle," Gatsby said.

"Well, I don't think there's anyone we know that would break Rule Number One," said Ashley.

"What we do know is that we need a job. A high paying job," said Spencer.

Ashley shrugs. "Well, we're too hot to work anywhere in the States."

"So we go abroad," Spencer said. "How about we go…"

"We're on the 5:00." Gatsby said.

"Good. Where are we going?" asked Spencer.

"Amsterdam."

"Amsterdam it is, then. Clock's running. Let's go."

"I've never been to Amsterdam," said Shawn.

"Yeah, I heard that German girls are hot," said Eliot.

Derek stopped Gatsby as the others walked out of the body shop.

"Yo, Gatz." Gatsby looks at Derek. "Amsterdam?"

Gatsby smiled. "Yeah."

"Don't tell Spency," whispered Gatsby.

* * *

><p><strong><span>R12*R12*R12*R12*R12*R12<span>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>5:00 FLIGHT TO AMSTERDAM<em>**

* * *

><p>Gatsby was having a bit of a nap while listening to music when Ashley wakes her up.<p>

"Hey, Gatsby."

"Huh? What?" Gatsby removes her sleep mask over her eyes. "Ash? What is it?"

"Nothing."

Gatsby removed her headphones. "What's wrong with you? What do you want to talk to about?"

"Well, Gatsby I don't know if this is the perfect time or not, but I've been doing my homework. I really…want to take a more central role in this job."

"Right."

"I feel like…I feel like I'm ready this time because it's…"

"Way overdue," finished Gatsby.

"Right. So, could you take me with you to the meet and help you negotiate?"

Gatsby looked around. "Well, it's just a sit down with Castle. He has his own language, this guy."

"I've watched you and Spencer closely last time. I've learned a ton.

"Ashley, in my professional opinion: you're not ready.

Ashley was disappointed. "I see."

"But…if you consider yourself ready, I could have a word with Spencer and you could come along."

"Thank you, Gatsby."

"But you have to be sure you're ready."

Ashley had to give it some thought. "Well…"

"Not sure."

"I am sure, but if I need any help, I can call you?"

Gatsby nodded. "Yep. Anytime."

"Sure, thank you." Ashley was about to return to her seat but decides to add a few more things. "You see I wasn't going to come over here."

"Then, I'd still be sleeping."

"Thanks, Gatsby."

Ashley returns to her seat, giving a thumbs up to Gatsby.


End file.
